25 Tips for a Great Childhood

You might think it is boring to be a child with endless schoolwork, tests, exams, home chores and every grownup. bossing you around but remember that childhood is a short season. These beautiful, carefree days will pass and how you turn out as an adult depends on the things you learn and experience in your early childhood. 

During your childhood, you will probably form many habits, many of which you will find harder to change later in life. Therefore it is very important that you choose a lifestyle that will help you to become a happy, healthy and responsible adult. 

Let us look at some key areas which affect you physically, emotionally and socially and learn which pitfalls to avoid and which values help you become a better person.

Relationships:

1. Be polite. Good manners help you get along with other children as well as with adults. Remember to say Thank you, Sorry, Please and You’re welcome whenever an occasion arises requiring these magic words. 

2. Be true to your word. Take time to think before you make a promise or a commitment. Don’t make fun of other people nor use foul language. It makes a person look unrefined and inelegant. 

3. Be considerate of others. Your grandparents might be old and may want some peace and quiet while resting in the afternoon. Do not watch TV or listen to music at an ear splitting volume. 

4. Respect each other’s privacy. Try to understand that others might not want to join in your activities because they may want to rest, study or do something else. It is not a reason to throw a tantrum or start a fight.

5. Everyday there are so many things that demand your attention that it becomes very easy to focus on only your own needs and requirements. Express your interest and concern for your parents, grandparents, siblings and friends by asking simple questions such as “How was your day?” Do you need any help?” “Can I do something for you?”

Self Care:

1) Keep yourself clean and tidy all the time. Take baths often especially in summer season, brush your teeth regularly, trim your nails and wear clean clothes. 

2) Be physically active. Whether you play team sports like cricket, tennis or football or exercise by yourself by riding a  bike, swimming or skipping a rope, find an activity that keeps you fit and healthy. 

3) Learn the importance of eating a balanced diet. Eat fresh fruits and vegetables everyday and limit your intake of junk food. Consuming too many salty and fried foods can cause pimples, make you look unhealthy and low in energy.

4) Be sure to get the right amount of sleep at night. While we are sleeping, our body rejuvenates, restores and repairs any wear and tear we might have suffered. It also promotes muscle growth and allows our brain to rest so that we face each new day with a bright smile and a fresh mind. 

5) Sometimes we want to be happy but our hair, skin, teeth and eyes decide to give us a tough time. Weight problems, dandruff, lice, pimples, weak eyesight and misaligned teeth can make us feel very dejected and target for ridicule. 

Remember you are not alone and millions of children go through these problems while they are growing up. Talk to your parents and discuss what can be done. Your family doctor can help you or you can seek help from experts such as a nutritionist, dermatologist, dentist or an optician who have plenty of ways to help you out of your troubles.  

Home and School Activities:

1. Read at least 3-5 books a month. Books open up new worlds of imagination, information and creativity.

2. Choose television programmes wisely. Limit your TV viewing to 1-2 hours daily. 

3. Take pride in your school work and always do your best. Remember that millions of children do not have the opportunity to go to school, read a book or write with a pencil. Be conscientious about school tests, assignments and homework and help your siblings in their school work too.

4. Try new activities at school or after school. Childhood is a great time to explore your talents and acquire new skills and interests. Do not be afraid of doing badly or failing. 

5. Help around the house. Keep your room clean and learn to put away your clothes, shoes, books and other belongings away every night before going to bed. This is a very important habit to cultivate as a cluttered room gives rise to stress and makes you look slovenly. 

Handling Emotions:

1. It is alright to feel negative emotions like fear, anger, stress and sadness but do not use tantrums, tears and threats as a means of getting your way.

2. Learn to stand up for yourself. Confide in your parents if something or someone is troubling you but do not expect your parents to solve all your problems for you. 

3. Learn to share and have a generous heart. It might be tempting to eat the whole chocolate bar but it is definitely better to break it in smaller pieces and share it with your siblings. Share your toys, books and food with your brothers and sisters or donate things that you do not need any longer. 

4. Learn to value money. Try to learn about budgeting and how to save money, or how you can help. Help adults in the house save money by switching off lights and fans 

5. Listen to what others have to say. You need not agree with everything that others around you say or feel but lend an ear to other people’s opinion. Treat them with same courtesy and respect as you would want for yourself.

Danger alert

1. Being adept at using the Internet is an integral part of today’s lifestyle. However it is very important to remember to practice Internet safety at all times. Never give your name, phone number, school name and address to strangers without consulting an adult first. 

2. Do not upload personal photos or information on social websites. Alert your parents if you are getting unsolicited messages from anyone or if there is anything that makes you uncomfortable.

3. Be very careful when interacting with strangers online. Remember that people online do not always tell the truth and might use number of ways to befriend you or win your trust. 

4. If you want to sign up for a website, give fictitious name and information. Similarly, do not buy products online unless you consult an adult first. Never agree to meet someone you have met online on your own.

5. Remember your parents are your best friends. If you have done something naughty, confide in them. Even if they scold you a bit, they will protect you from all sorts of troubles. 

First Published in Dawn, Young World, July 9th, 2016

Book review: Goodbye Mr. Chips, by James Hilton

Cover of the UK first edition

Once in a while you come across a book which you read with tears in your eyes and a smile upon your lips. Among its pages, you meet characters so memorable and warm that their memories stay with you long after the last pages have been turned and the book placed back upon the shelf.

One such book that I have read is "Goodbye Mr Chips" by James Hilton.

Goodbye, Mr. Chips is a short novella about a school teacher affectionately called Mr Chips and chronicles his life. Mr Chips is not just a teacher but an institute and an era in his personality. 

As the teacher of classics at Brookfield School since 1870, he sees many changes in the British society, the Franco-Prussian War, the First World War and survives many headmasters at the school. 

His wife Katherine appears in just a couple of chapters but her vivacious character is as unforgettable as her memories are poignant. She had a great deal of influence on him and changes him into a mellow, gentler creature well-liked and respected by everyone at school. 

Such is the love, fondness and respect for the elderly teacher that in spite of his tattered robe, his peculiarities and his old fashioned ways that when one headmaster tries to make him resign the students, their fathers and the board of governors comprising his old students stand behind him to a man. 

It's a very lovely book that will make you cry a little and smile a lot and give you a warm feeling of having known someone precious.

Highly recommended!

Series review: Guided Through the Qur'an

“Guided through the Quran” (Bil Quran ihtadayt in Arabic) is a very inspirational series that shows brief interviews of people who have accepted Islam as their religion and their way of life.

The host, Shaykh Fahad AlKandari, has travelled to many countries like Brazil, Sweden, Denmark, Japan, Netherlands, UK, USA and Spain to interview people about their journey to Islam.

The videos are brief, about 20-25 minutes long. They are in Arabic and English with English subtitles and usually the following questions have been asked:

• The life of the person before accepting Islam
• What prompted his or her journey towards Islam
• The time and place of Shahada (testimony of faith declaring belief in the oneness of God (monotheism) and the acceptance of Muhammad ﷺ as Allah’s Messenger) and what the person felt at that time.
• The reaction from family, friends etc and problems faced after accepting Islam
• And last, the verses of the Quran or the surah that affected the person most.

Guided Through the Qur'an

As a person who is born a Muslim, this show had a very profound effect on me. Watching almost 90 episodes spread over three seasons, I felt emotions like gratitude and admiration as I listened to these beautiful and courageous people.

Gratitude, because I was born in a Muslim family and never have had to face the problems that these reverts had to face such as ostracization by family, loss of job, Islamophobia and even brutal physical attacks on women who chose to wear hijab in non Muslim European countries.

And I also felt great admiration because these are the people who struggled to search for siraat-e-mustaqim or the Right Path and remained steadfast in face of all the trials.

One of the amazing thing for me was how much they endeavoured to improve their knowledge of the Arabic language and tajweed to read the Quran and be able to pray because they felt that unless they learn the language, they would forever remain dependant on other people to translate the Quran for them and their own knowledge would remain inadequate.

On a personal level I felt that stories from France were most inspirational. One was most amazing stories was of Arnoud van Doorn, a Dutch politician whose party had sponsored the anti Muslim movie Fitna. However once he read the Quran, his feelings towards Islam and Muslims changed completely and he decided to become a Muslim.

For some people just one verse of the Holy Quran was enough to change their life forever. For some, the story of Jesus in the Quran proved to a catalyst while others were impressed by the scientific facts and miracles mentioned in the Quran. Some searched for peace and some felt lost in a dark world. Whatever the reason, each person had a beautiful story to tell.

If you have never met a Muslim in your life and all you know about Islam comes via news channels, I would request you to watch a few episodes of this show on YouTube.

From Rahim Jung in UK to Yasmeen Rolland in USA, to Alessandro in Brazil to Nicola in France, you will meet some amazing new Muslims who are following their deen with humbleness and piety and are beautiful examples of Muslims which you will never see on mainstream media.

10 Tips to Prevent Spread of Infectious Diseases

Most infectious diseases are passed from person to person, or get transmitted via bites from insects or animals. Other ways of getting infected are by eating contaminated food and water or coming in contact with virus and germs present in the environment. 

Our habits play a big role in determining whether we stay immune to infectious diseases or get infected easily. Here are some tips to prevent the spread of infectious diseases at home, school and workplace.

• Wash your hands with soap and water or alcohol sanitizers frequently especially before eating, before and after preparing food and after going to the toilet.
• You should also wash hands thoroughly if you have been to a public place, have been gardening, petting an animal, taking out trash or handling garbage.
• Hands should be washed thoroughly after cleaning up body fluids such as vomit, nasal secretions, blood or saliva.
• Do not share personal items such as tooth brushes, towels, undergarments, shaving razors and combs with other people. Be especially careful, if you live in a dorm, hostel or any other shared residence.
• Stay at home and avoid crowded places when you have flu and cough.
• Wash vegetables and fruits thoroughly to get rid of all germs, dust and traces of pesticides
• Keep toilets and kitchens clean. These places can harbor a lot of germs and prove to be breeding ground for many infectious diseases.
• Use antiseptics and disinfectants when necessary. Antiseptics are things that destroy disease carrying germs without harming body tissues such as Dettol while disinfectants are used on kitchen counters, floors, bathrooms etc to destroy disease carrying micro-organisms.

• 

• Get vaccinated for flu, hepatitis B, chicken pox and make sure your children get vaccinated against childhood diseases such as polio, mumps, measles and rubella.
• If you are suffering from flu, cold or cough, always cover your nose and mouth when you sneeze or cough. Dispose off used tissues properly and avoid close contact with other people.

Even if you cannot stay healthy every single day of your life, good hygiene and thorough cleanliness ensure that you spend more time enjoying life than visiting hospitals and getting medical treatments.

Tips to Prevent Food Poisoning

During the summer season, bacteria and fungi can cause food to rot or decay and make it unfit for human consumption. Mould can grow quickly on bread or oranges and cause them to rot and turn green. Similarly bacteria can breed quickly in milk or curry that is left at room temperature and cause it to turn sour.

Some bacteria like E.coli can cause food poisoning which can result in diarrhea, vomiting, severe stomach cramps. It is very important to know how to store food so that we and our loved ones are safe from food contamination and food poisoning.

→Wash your hands thoroughly with soap and water before handling food, before eating and after using the toilet.

→Cook food thoroughly at high temperature.

→If you are buying packaged food, then always check the expiry date.

→Avoid canned food in which cans are badly dented or bloated.

→Avoid food with torn seals or open packaging.

→Wash all fruits and vegetable thoroughly once you get home from shopping. Let them dry on a rack or basket with holes so that water seeps out before storing them in relevant fridge compartments.

→Do not leave fresh milk or cooked food at room temperature. Always store it in refrigerators in proper containers.

→If you are re-heating food, do so thoroughly till steam appears.

→Do not let blood of fresh meat drip into other frozen foods. Again use proper containers.

→Wipe kitchen tops with hot water after working with raw meat, raw eggs, fish and vegetables. Wash chopping boards, knives and other utensils too.

→I always wash my kitchen cloths and sponges in hot water with little detergent and hang them in sunlight because it kills odors and bacteria.

→Don’t let leftover food stay inside your fridge for long. Otherwise they will turn into specimen for science experiment.

Food poisoning can be fatal so be extra careful in summer.

Work Interrupted!

“Nothing will work unless you do.” Maya Angelou

• Why doesn’t my work get done?
• How could I miss such an important deadline?
• Why is everything such a mess?
• Where did the time go?

If you feel frustrated, behind schedule and a little lost all day long, you are not alone. Today’s world is full of things that kill our focus and make us inattentive. Due to these factors, we may feel exhausted at the end of the day and yet unsatisfied with what we have accomplished in the preceding 24 hours. The pile of responsibilities never seems to diminish making us feel stressed out and dispirited.

Let’s look at some of the reasons and how we can fix them:

Too Many Distractions:

If you find yourself wondering, “Where did the time go?”many times a day, you better take a closer look at your social media addiction. Every update ping from Facebook, Whatsapp, Viber and Twitter wrecks your train of thought making it difficult for you to concentrate on the chore at hand and even making it look dull, boring and totally unappealing in comparison.

If you interrupt your work to check every email and SMS that lands in your Inbox, you are not going to get much work done, whether it is office related or something as simple as vacuuming the TV lounge. The remedy too is in your own hands. Keep your phone hidden in a drawer if you are working on something that does not require its constant presence. Train yourself to ignore unimportant or personal emails at work and at home designate a specific time for this purpose.

Too Much on the Mind:

Many people nowadays juggle too many responsibilities. A working mother may be thinking about her daughter’s costume for the school play or her son’s grades. Maybe someone is worried about paying bills or taking a family member to a doctor. An altercation with a colleague or a family feud can destroy our concentration because we play the same words over and over again in our minds. 

It is very hard to focus on work when duties, errands and unpleasant thoughts are buzzing around in our head. The best way to tackle this distraction is to write things down and make a to-do-list. Then force these distractions off your mind and focus on the task at hand. And for the people who cause you endless trouble, someone said it best, “Don’t let people who annoy you occupy a rent-free space in your mind.”

Too Haphazard in your Approach: 

How many times do you slap your forehead and say, “I didn’t do XYZ and now it’s too late?”

If you wake up with 20 things to do and go to bed with 50 things still left undone, you are not going to feel very happy with life. Every day, make a list of things that need to get done and set a deadline for that task. Whether you use apps like Wunderlist or Todoist, or the plain old pencil and notebook, jotting things down helps you to separate the unnecessary from the urgent and the important.

You have to call someone to offer condolences, make an appointment with the doctor, pick up children from school, buy grocery, get a haircut, go for a walk or gym or clean the fridge, write down a schedule and set a rough deadline for each task. As soon as one task gets done, strike it off. After a few weeks you will be surprised at how many things you can get done in 24 hours without them seeming like a hassle. Don’t procrastinate or put off boring work. 

Too Much Fatigue:

Lack of sleep and fatigue can make it difficult for you to concentrate on work or find the will power to get it done. Adults should get 7-9 hours of sleep. Eating proper meals and keeping yourself hydrated are also necessary for good physical, emotional and mental health. 

And here’s what experts have to say:

Experts say that there are four golden rules of getting things done:

Know what you have to do. Whether it’s baking a cake, cleaning the fridge or giving an office presentation, you should know what tasks need to be done on a given day.

Have a firm deadline for getting it done. Remember “Someday” is not a day in any calendar. 

Know exactly what “done” looks, feels, sounds and smells like.

Understand the negative consequences of not getting the work done and the positive consequences of accomplishing the task.

These four rules should be enough to galvanize anyone to tackle their work with a more positive frame of mind. So spend more time getting things done than just doing them. 

Teaching your child good manners

Teaching your child good manners

Remember the kid who came to your son’s birthday party and turned it into a nightmare with his incessant demands, tantrums and loud bawling. Care to think about the child whom you saw kicking and screaming at McDonalds because they were out of his favourite toy. 

Did you hear about a distant cousin’s son who is in the habit of overturning the dining table if his favourite meal is not served? These examples are just a few cases of children who are being brought up without the slightest idea of what having good manners entail.

Good manners are more than just saying “please” and “thank you”. They are a way of showing respect to others and a sign of a good upbringing. Instilling good manners in children is one of the most important aspects of parenting and this should begin as soon as the child becomes cognizant of his surroundings and the people around him. 

Be good role models:

When children have good role models to pattern themselves after, they are much more likely to acquire good manners. Children naturally emulate their parents so make sure that your own manners are the manners that you desire from your children.  Say "please," "thank you" and “I am sorry” often and your children will naturally begin to say them, too.

Be careful of the language you use in front of your children as they will copy your words. If you don't want certain words to become a part of your child’s vocabulary, don’t use them in their presence. Never abuse or ridicule other people in front of your kids. Allowing or encouraging children to be disrespectful towards their teachers is one of the worst things that parents can let happen as it totally mars their personality.

Teach them as they grow:

Teaching good manners to children is a continual process. It begins with teaching them “please”, “thank you” and “sorry.” Even a 2-year old is perfectly capable of understanding the use of these three words. By the time a child reaches the school going stage (3-4 years), he should understand the concept of asking for permission and “May I” should be a part of his vocabulary.

An older child must be taught not to interrupt while elders are talking, answer the telephone properly, behave properly in public and have respect for other person’s belongings and public property. Some other good manners that a child should be aware of are giving up a seat for an elderly person in public place, holding doors open, have good sportsman spirit, empathy for those who are less fortunate and owning up when he/she makes an error. Good table manners, whether inside the home or away and helping to clean up the table also constitutes good manners.

Always praise good behaviour:

Children love to copy their parents and older siblings and if they display good manners, praise them lavishly. No matter how minor the achievement, make sure that you let your child know that you appreciate his efforts and good manners. Correct behavioural mistakes when they occur but never humiliate a child in front of others. Gently remind them to mind their manners as the situation requires.

Use positive re-enforcement:

As a mother, I have found that frequent use of the word “don’t” often sets up a child’s hackles. So instead of saying “don’t be rude,” try saying, “I find this type of behavior very upsetting. Is something troubling you?” Always be firm and consistent. Let your child know that you won’t stand any nonsense. If your child is in the habit of banging doors or kicking toys in anger, make him go back and close the door softly or pick up the toys each time till this habit breaks.

Never encourage rude behavior:

In our society, the tussle between daughters and mothers-in-law in the home usually forces young children to take sides. Any display of temper towards the offending member is considered a source of amusement for the other party.  If you laugh off small acts of rudeness and answering back to adults as “cute” or “clever”, the chances are that these incidents will snowball into bigger issues later on. It is very important to set firm standards of respect in the home. Fight your own battles but leave your children out of them.

Never overindulge your child:

Tantrums never look good not even if the child who is throwing them is 3, chubby and cute. Be firm with your kids and don’t give in to their every whim and demand. The world will not come to an end if the child does not get his favorite toy with a Happy Meal or the latest action figure or the coolest gadget and the sooner he learns this “bitter truth” the better for his future personality. Being an only child or the only son should not be one way ticket to excessive parental indulgence. Children, who are allowed to get away with bad behavior when young, are not adept at controlling their anger when older. 

We must remember that it is not only our social equals who command our respect and esteem. We must be equally courteous towards those who work for us like our maids and gardeners and those whom we meet in the course of our daily lives. The traffic sergeant, salesmen in the grocery store, the receptionist at a doctor’s office, the school peon and waiters in hotels should be addressed courteously too.  

As parents, we do our children no service if we pamper and spoil them to such an extent that they become manner less monsters that everyone fears. Being taught good manners is as necessary for our kids as feeding them so make sure that they get both essentials in equal measure.