Colours of Eid ul Adha 

Muslims all over the world celebrate Eid al-Adha or Festival of the Sacrifice at the end of Hajj or pilgrimage to Mecca. Eid al-Adha is celebrated on the 10th of Zil-Hijjah, the 12th and final month of the Islamic calendar. This Eid commemorates willingness of Prophet Ibraheem (alai his-salam) to sacrifice what was dearest to him as a test of faith when he was commanded by Allah to sacrifice his son, Hazrat Ismail (alai his-salam). Pleased by his obedience, Allah replaced the boy with a ram that got sacrificed instead.

In Pakistan and other Muslim countries, the Eid is marked with congregational Eid prayers and the sacrifice of animals such as camels, sheep, goats or cows. The meat is then distributed among neighbours, family members, and the poor. People dress up in new clothes, visit relatives and friends and hold feasts. 

But have you ever wondered how Muslims in non-Muslim countries celebrate this very important festival? What hardships they face and how their Eid day is different from our Eid celebrations?

Let’s have a glimpse of how people in various countries celebrate Eid ul Adha where culture, religion and laws are different from Muslim majority countries. It is important to note that because of COVID pandemic, Eid celebrations this year will probably be low-key, marked by lockdown restrictions and social distancing imposed to stop the spread of the virus.

Eid ul Adha in Canada

Canada has a Muslim population of about one million people and most Canadian Muslim families are immigrants from various Muslim countries. To celebrate Eid ul Adha, people go to a farm to pick an animal and wait for their turn to do the sacrifice. They are given a token number and have to come back later to pick up meat. Usually, the queues are so long that it takes up the whole day to move from one counter to another. That is why most people prefer to send money to their native countries instead of sacrificing the animal in a foreign land. Buying an animal, bringing it home, and taking care of it and even adorning it with bells and henna are all childhood memories that Muslim children in foreign countries can never relate to. 

But one thing that is very common in Canada and seldom seen in Pakistan is that the whole family goes to mosques for Eid prayers… men, women, children, young mothers with new born babies and the elderly. There are designated rooms for babies and toddlers, supervised by mosque volunteers. The place is very inviting for young children, well stocked with toys and stuffed animals so their mothers can listen to the Eid khutba and pray in peace. People dress up in their traditional colourful clothes for Eid. Everyone greets each other in the mosques and Islamic centres. After the prayers, people gather in each other’s homes for scrumptious lunch. Since the pandemic, it has been difficult to celebrate Eid Milan functions but people exchange gift baskets to keep the excitement alive for children.

Eid ul Adha in England

Eid ul Aha in England is different in various areas depending upon the Muslim population of the city. In areas with large Muslim population, Eid is somewhat similar to Pakistan because the markets and shops sell desi goods like mehndi, glass bangles, khussay and traditional clothes. Neighbours, friends and families pray together in big mosques, open grounds and Islamic centres and visit each other with gifts and sweet dishes. 

However in areas where there are fewer Muslims, Eid is quiet unless people decide to travel or celebrate Eid in local Islamic centres. Since people can’t keep sacrificial animal at home, they prefer to pay the cost to a charity organization that distributes meat to impoverished Muslims in other parts of the world. Muslim families try to organize Eid fairs which are open to community. Parents have to make an extra effort to make the Eid special for children with Eid decorations, preparing Eid gifts and lighting up the house. Eid is not an official holiday like it is in Pakistan so people try to take one or two days off so that they can enjoy the day with their families. 

Eid ul Adha in Japan

Muslims living in Japan come from diverse backgrounds – many are immigrants and others are students who are enrolled in various universities. There are very few proper mosques in Japan and people usually gather in rented buildings for prayers and Islamic rituals. Because of very low Muslim population in Japan, people make the Islamic centres their home away from home to keep their religious traditions alive. 

Japanese Muslims depend upon social media alerts from their nearest Islamic centre for notifications regarding prayer timings, study sessions, weddings and other social gatherings and travel by bus, train or cycle to reach at the correct time. After Eid prayers, they usually eat together and it is quite common to see food from dozens of Muslim countries in a single buffet. While praying, an Indonesian Muslim might be standing next to a Pakistani Muslim and a Sudanese Muslim shoulder to shoulder with an Arab Muslim, while the Imam may be from Bangladesh or even be a Japanese convert. On such occasions, one can see the true image of Muslims as one ummah, standing all together regardless of ethnicity, colour, race and country of origin. Eid celebrations in Japan tend to be brief as most students and immigrant workers need to return to work or study. 

Eid ul Adha in Germany

There are about 6 million Muslims in Germany and 2500 mosques. Germany’s Muslim population is very diverse with people from Turkey, Syria, Morocco, Afghanistan and Iraq making up a large proportion. Many Muslim families are refugees from war affected countries. One of the biggest hardships Muslims in Germany face is getting time off from work or school and Eid celebrations may have to wait until the weekend if the Eid falls on a weekday. People usually gather in their community centres for Eid prayers and then eat a festive meal together. Usually they try to arrange a fun fair on Eid day so that others can get to know more about Muslim culture. 

In schools, Muslim parents are sometimes invited to talk about their religion and festivals. They make an effort to introduce their traditional clothes, music and food to young German children so that they can understand the culture of their Muslim class fellows. Like in other non-Muslim countries, actual sacrifice is not done but money is sent to native countries to buy and distribute the sacrificial animal.

Eid ul Adha in Australia

Muslims in Australia are a small but dynamic group, consisting of diverse cultural and ethnic communities from different nations. Eid al-Adha in Australia is usually marked by family gatherings, with friends and relatives staying overnight in one place. Women and girls get intricate henna designs painted on their hands, traditional clothes are worn and special meat dishes are cooked. For those who want to sacrifice an animal, sheep or goat can be slaughtered in Halal way in government approved abattoirs. Many rich Muslims pay for meat to be cut, frozen, packed and shipped to poor countries or war-affected refugee camps around the world.

However, for many Australian Muslims, the festival is more than just about slaughtering animals. They try to come up with new and unique ways to celebrate their religious festival and try to include the whole community in the festive spirit.  For example last year, Muslim community centres arranged hampers filled with essential food items, hand sanitisers, masks and toys to needy families on Eid, irrespective of their religion. These hampers were packed and distributed by mosque volunteers. There is a lot of emphasis on following the rules and everyone follows the government issued SOPs. 

Whether you live in Pakistan or in any foreign country, the lessons to learn from Eid-ul-Adha celebrations are your complete faith, trust and submission to Allah. It is about spreading joy and including those who are less fortunate in our homes and hearts.  

First published in  Dawn's Young World 

 In Conversation with A Honey Bee

I sat down in the cool shade of a huge tree in my garden and drew in a deep breath. A pleasant breeze blew, bringing with it the fragrance of flowers and I savoured the serenity and tranquility all around me. I opened my book about a murder mystery and started to read. I had only read a few sentences when my peace was disturbed by a buzzing sound near my left ear.

Buzzzz….buzzzz. I looked around, twisting my head from left to right in order to locate the source of this constant buzzing. Suddenly, a honey bee came in my field of vision and my blood froze in horror. ‘I am about to get stung by a honey bee,’ I thought in panic. Images of red bumps, swelling and itching came to my mind and I was petrified.

The bee landed on my book and looked straight at me.

‘Buzzzz...hello,’ it said.

‘Err…hello’, I gulped and replied.

‘Are you the writer who once interviewed a house fly?’ It asked.

I was astonished and pleased to be recognized. ‘Well yes,’ I tried to answer modestly. ‘I did indeed interview a housefly and a mosquito and both interviews got published in Young World magazine.’ 

‘Will you take my interview too?’ The bee asked. I thought it looked a bit sad and forlorn. ‘Anything to save myself from getting stung,’ I thought. ‘Er…yes, if you are ready to answer a few questions,’ I replied. 

‘You see, I would like to tell the world about our services to the human race and the environment before we disappear from the face of this earth,’ it said.

‘What!!’ I exclaimed. 

‘In case you haven’t noticed, our population is fast declining. And it won’t be long before we are extinct like many other species on this planet due to the shenanigans of the human race.’

I sat there dumbfounded. No more bees, I thought frantically. What about honey? What will I use on other side of my buttered toast? How will I soothe my throat next time I have a sore throat or flu? 

 I scrambled around and luckily found my notebook and a pen in my bag.

‘Okay, I said trying to look professional. ‘Please tell me more about yourself. I mean facts that are lesser known about honey bees,’ I fired my first question. 

‘There are around 20,000 species of bees on planet Earth. Though people think of us in yellow and black colours, we come in many colours and sizes and not all bees make honey,’ answered my guest.

‘And how do you make honey?’ I asked, thinking of the jar in my kitchen cupboard.

‘Making honey is one of the finest examples of hard work and organized team work you will ever see,’ the bee replied proudly. ‘Worker honey bees fly up to 5km searching for flowers to get the sweet nectar. Usually, one honey bee visits between 50 and 100 flowers per trip. We suck up nectar droplets from the flower’s nectary using our long straw-like tongue called proboscis. The nectar is broken down into simpler sugars so that it stays in a liquid form in our stomach. 

Then the worker honey bees return to the colony, and pass the nectar to the house bees by regurgitating the liquid. House bees pack the nectar into hexagon-shaped honey cells. Then they turn the nectar into honey by drying it out by flapping their wings to make warm wind. There are about 60,000 bees in each colony and a colony of bees can visit up to 50 million flowers each day to collect nectar.’

‘Oh! Wow!’ My jaw almost dropped open at the numbers.

‘But what if a bee has already sucked nectar from a flower? How do other bees know which flowers still have nectar?’ I asked.

‘Now that’s a very good question,’ said the bee. ‘After we have visited a flower, we leave behind a chemical which acts like a sticky note. It tells other bees that one of us has already sucked up its nectar so they don’t bother visiting and move on to other flowers. By the time nectar is replenished in the flower, the effects of the chemical is also worn off.’

This time my jaw did drop open. I could only marvel at Nature’s awesomeness and couldn’t even think of another question. 

‘Do you know making honey isn’t the only useful thing we do?’ the bee broke the silence. ‘When we visit flowers, we also pick up pollen – a kind of powder which flower, plants, trees and grasses make and spread to help more of the same plants grow around them. So by transferring pollen we make sure more plants grow. In fact, about one-third of the food humans eat is pollinated by us.’ 

‘Hmmm… so what would happen if the population of bees declines?’

‘This would have a very devastating rippling effect on ecosystems. A number of plants that depend upon pollination by us would disappear. For example cherries and blueberries plants would become rare. There is no doubt, without us, the availability and diversity of fresh fruits and vegetables would decline to a great extent. And of course honey too,’

I stared at the bee with a glum face. What a catastrophe!

‘What can we do to help?’ I asked humbly.

‘Our population is declining in many parts of the world largely because of air pollution, drought, insecticide use, habitat loss and global warming. Our biggest problem is lack of safe habitats where we can build our homes and find a variety of nutritious food sources. The best thing human beings can do for our survival is to plant bee friendly gardens. We need plants which are rich in pollen and nectar. If there’s no space for gardens, flowers can be grown in planters, flower pots, window boxes on balconies and rooftops. Your government must control too much use of toxic pesticides and herbicides. 

And can you people please stop cutting trees. Trees are not only a great food source for us, but also an essential habitat. Tree leaves and resin provide us with nesting material, while natural wood cavities make excellent shelters. When will you realize what a devastating effect deforestation has on wildlife which is in fact necessary for your own survival?’ 

I was feeling vey ashamed by now and couldn’t think of a single thing to say.

‘Buzzzz….I have to go now and look for more nectar. But can I say one thing before I leave? Jane Goodall, a very famous anthropologist, once said, “You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you. What you do makes a difference and you have to decide what kind of a difference you want to make.” Please heed her words and decide what kind of impact you want to make on planet Earth.’ 

My tiny guest flew away leaving me deep in thought. I hope this interview makes you think about this industrious insect too and how we can play our part in saving it from extinction. 

Fun Facts About Honey Bees

• There is a surah (chapter) in the Holy Quran named after honey bees…Surah Nahl

• The honey bee is the only insect which produces food eaten by man.

• The queen bee lives for about 2-3 years. In summer she lays up to 2500 eggs a day.

• Male bees in the hive are called drones

• An average honey bee actually makes only 1/12 of a teaspoon of honey in its lifetime.

• The honey bee’s wings stroke 11,400 times per minute, thus making their distinctive buzzing noise.

• Bees are important because they pollinate approximately 130 agricultural crops including fruits, nuts, berries and vegetable crops. . 

• Honey stored in air tight containers never spoils. Sealed honey vats found in Egyptian Pharaoh Tutankhamun’s tomb still contained edible honey, despite over 2,000 years beneath the sands.

• The residence of a bee, the beehive, is a true wonder in itself. In fact, according to ancient Roman scholar Marcu Terentius Varro, the hexagonal structure is the best possible tessellating shape which can used to create a compact and easily replicable structure.  

• The honey bees do an amazing dance like movement called the Waggle Dance. This allows a bee to communicate the location of pollen rich flowers to its fellow bees. 

• Karl von Frisch, a professor of zoology in Munich, Germany, spent 50 years studying bee language and earned the Nobel Prize in 1973 for his research on bees and their waggle dance.

• 30% of world’s bee population has been lost in the past 10 years.

First published on Dawn's Young World 

Birthday Celebrations in Schools

One event that excites children to no end is their birthday. It is a special day for them and the images of cakes, candles, gifts and confetti are enough to keep them awake all night. Birthday for a child is a big occasion which they want to celebrate with their friends and family members with as much pomp and show as possible.

In recent years, it has become a norm for parents to arrange extravagant birthday parties in schools where they bring cake, birthday hats and goodie bags for the whole class. In some cases goodie bags are a treasure trove of imported chocolates, sweets, art supplies, candies and other expensive items. However, this trend is giving rise to some serious emotional issues in those children whose parents cannot afford to do the same on their birthday.

Children in Montessori or nursery schools are too young to understand the concept of what their parents can afford or cannot afford. When they see a child basking in the limelight with everyone clapping for him, singing the birthday song and bringing gifts and sweets for the whole class, it is only natural that they want the same for their birthday.

More and more middle class families are working hard to send their children to elite schools for sake of better educational opportunities. But once enrolled, it is very tragic really that the difference between haves and haves-not becomes apparent to children as young as 3-4 years old.

Children from rich families know even at that tender age that they are different from those who do not have big cars, expensive houses, mini toy stores at home and maids to look after them. Children from middle class know that their parents cannot give them the things that some of their class fellows take for granted. This is giving rise to arrogance and superiority complex on one side and jealousy, envy and depression on the other side. All these negative emotions are very detrimental for any child’s emotional and character development.

School administration should take a strong stand against parents who wish to show off their wealth within school environment. No child should be made to feel special because he or she comes from a privileged background or just because “Daddy brought a remote control helicopter from Dubai” or “My maid is from Philippines and I have so many servants in my home.”

Any celebration that needs to be done must be the same for every child like having a picture on a school board with Happy Birthday sticker displayed for the day, the birthday song sung by the class fellows or allowing distribution of inexpensive sweets.

Parents who wish to throw themed parties for their children can arrange a big birthday bash at home with friends and family members but at school, children should be just children. Class, social status and elitism should be left outside one a child enters the school premises. Wealthy parents must realize that the cost of arranging an extravagant birthday party for their child is too high if it is making other children in the class depressed and victims of inferiority complex.

On the other hand, it is a fact that children cannot be protected from harsh realities of life all the time. Parents need to be able to communicate with their children and tell them with honesty that some people have a lot more money than others. Parents who have a strong, loving relationship with their children are able to thwart feelings of inferiority complex or sadness when it arises.

Children need to understand that expensive toys, branded watches, bags, shoes and foreign trips are not possible for everyone and material possessions are not the most important things on earth. Not every wish can be granted nor every whim fulfilled. Even if parents can afford to, it is a terrible idea to pamper the children too much or give in to their every demand.

Parents who themselves have a contented spirit and moderate outlook on life can teach their children good values. If parents are bitter, angry and show signs of jealousy and discontent, children are quick to pick these nuances from them and will view the world and all it contains in a negative state of mind.

The Headlines We Make

Every morning I like to pursue world news while having my breakfast. I either read the newspaper or just scroll through headlines on my smartphone while sipping my hot mug of tea.

But recently this activity has started making me feel depressed. Whether you read about Kashmir or Palestine, Yemen or Iraq, Syria or Afghanistan, mass murders or genocide, shootings or knife-stabbing incidents, one is bound to feel depressed about colossal loss of life and suffering of people dying of war, violence, disease, hunger or natural disasters in various parts of the world.

But this is not all. I have noticed that there is a huge gulf in the type of news articles that originate from some countries and those that make headlines in our part of the world.

For example, I read on BBC that Japan will send gardening experts all around the world to restore Japanese-style gardens that have fallen into a state of neglect. The gardens are used for tea ceremonies, festivals and other events to introduce people to Japanese culture. This is not only a beautiful gesture and an excellent way to promote culture and trade but also shows the priorities of Japanese government.

Then I read about a project called Little Free Library in which a book lover puts a box, shelf or crate of books in front yard of his house. Neighbors can browse, take one book, and return later with a replacement. It was started by a young man as tribute to his mother who was a teacher and loved to read. This idea was replicated by many people in their own communities and by 2016, more than 60,000 Little Free Libraries have been registered in over 70 countries.

There are reports on how Amsterdam has succeeded in becoming the bicycle capital of the world. Cycling is usual mode of conveyance in Netherlands, and even the prime minister is usually seen cycling to work. Cycling proficiency lessons are a compulsory part of the Dutch school curriculum.

News reports from Sweden tell us that this European country is so good at recycling garbage that it now imports rubbish from other countries to keep its recycling plants going.

In Singapore, chewing gum was banned because people would leave the gum on bus seats, school rooms, theatres, or sidewalks. After its ban, hardly anyone chews gum in Singapore. People can be fined up to $10,000 for littering or jailed. The offenders are required to clean public areas for up to 12 hours. Laws are same for rich and poor, common man and powerful alike.

In Wattle Grove Australia, only 10 lemon-scented mature gum trees were set to be cut down for a new road. A petition demanding that the city council review its decision to chop the trees gathered nearly 10,000 supporters forcing work to stop.

Indonesian President Joko Widodo was scheduled to participate in a parade but his motorcade got stuck in a major traffic jam in Jakarta. Rather than miss the parade the president and his entourage walked for several kilometers in scorching heat to reach their destination.

Then there is this heartwarming story of people like Jim McIngvale, known as “Mattress Mack,” who turned his furniture warehouses into shelters for people made homeless by tropical storm Harvey. When some of the storm’s victims couldn’t make it across flooded streets, McIngvale dispatched his large delivery trucks and drivers to collect people and bring them to safety. People lived, slept and ate on the beds, sofas, mattresses and furniture that were kept there to be sold.

For me, these stories are not just headlines but they convey an entire spectrum of values, laws and ideals people of these countries uphold. You would not find their parks, museums or libraries neglected or vandalized. There are stories of communities and neighborhoods coming together for common goals.

If you contrast these types of news headlines with those that originate from our part of the world, not just Pakistan but let’s say South Asia, we read about thousands of farmers committing suicide in India, collapsing bridges, landlords destroying farms of helpless widows, a man on knife stabbing spree, police clueless about how to catch criminals, never ending political shenanigans and war mongering among regional neighbors.

There are never ending tales of poverty, exploitation, land grabbing, illiteracy, superstitions and apathy on every level. There are daily reports on plight of out of school children, sexual assaults, water shortage, overflowing drains, expanding slum areas, growing traffic congestion, garbage heaps, and inadequate city planning.

I am fully aware that the western society and culture are not without their share of problems but we also have to admit that people of these countries have civic sense ingrained into them. They care about their streets and trees, butterflies and fish, lakes and mountains and their wildlife. They make queues; they have strict laws regarding traffic and cleanliness. The elderly and disabled have amazing rights under law.

In our part of the world, there is so much focus on personal goals and acquisition of material stuff that ethics, laws, love of nature and civic sense do not register on our radars at all. I cannot imagine our politicians walking on crowded streets to keep an appointment or cycling to the parliament house. 

An outdoor library would not last as all books would probably be stolen within an hour. Bans in our part of the world are ignored and not by any stretch of imagination can I see our elite cleaning streets or beaches. Do we even care about our blind dolphins or illegal hunting that’s decimating our wildlife?

People break rules just to show their power, clout and wealth. We have this amazing “Pakistan may sab chalta hai” attitude. Isn’t it time we focus on developing some basic civic sense and respect of law in ourselves individually and collectively?

Throw Away Clutter

"Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.” – William Morris

If we take a good hard look around our homes and cupboards, we will probably find a gazillion things we no longer need. There are probably children’s clothes, toys, shoes and books taking up space, clothes that no longer fit us or went out of fashion a decade ago, ugly decoration pieces that were gifted by stingy relatives, mismatched crockery or things that we are emotionally attached to like birthday cards, picture frames or holiday souvenirs.

Having all this extra stuff in the house can have a very negative impact on our lives and emotional health, but somehow we cling to the stuff thinking we might use it one day. There is always a feeling of guilt attached to the cleaning process when we think of how much money was spent in buying the knickknacks or clothes that we now deem useless.

I always feel very depressed when I have to clean out a closet that is full of broken odds and ends. It is not only very time consuming but I am never sure which nut, bolt or wire might come in handy later. I also have a huge amount of books in my home and dusting and keeping the bookshelves organized is truly a herculean task. And yet, I am unable to sell them or give them away. In apartments or small homes which lack proper storerooms or attics, this problem is exacerbated where things always seem to overflow and there is jumbled stuff everywhere.

But having a clutter free home is essential for physical and mental well being. People who live in messy homes or work in cluttered offices are more prone to be stressed if they can’t find things they are looking for, it drains their energy and they are more likely to be short tempered. Too much clutter in the home also requires more time spent cleaning and dusting otherwise dust and mold can accumulate causing different allergies and health problems.

When it comes to handling clutter, some people find it easier to tackle a small area every day like a shelf or one drawer while some prefer to do it on a seasonal basis by going over the entire house altogether. Whatever approach works best for you, here are a few simple rules to follow:

Know what you want to keep and discard the rest. Periodically clean out your closets and check your shoes, clothes and other accessories. Anything broken, outgrown or not worn for years needs to be disposed off.

When it comes to de-cluttering, my best friends are cartons and a thick black marker. Keep 2-3 big card boxes for sorting out stuff. If unsure about certain items like books, greeting cards, shoes, clothes and crockery, place them in cardboard boxes. If you still don’t find a use for them in let’s say, 4-6 months, you can give them away. Things in good condition can also be put on sale online.

Have neatly labeled files for sorting out bills, medical reports, school reports, bank statements, receipts etc. and make it a habit to file away papers immediately.

Make it a rule to clean table tops and counters before going to bed and this habit needs to be inculcated in the whole family. Remember the maxim: A place for everything and everything in its place.

Another important rule is to slow the rate of accumulation of stuff in our homes. Before buying things mindlessly or just because they are on discount, think whether you really need them and if you have a place to store them in the house.

Be generous. If you are fashion conscious and love to buy the latest trendy kurtis, shawls or bags, make an effort to sort out and give away your old stuff instead of cramming everything in cupboards and drawers.

Similarly keeping decades old clothes thinking you might wear them “someday” is also useless. Identify people and places where you can donate stuff such as heavily embellished clothes that you no longer need or last year’s school books. There are plenty of charity organizations and poor people who could benefit from school uniforms, books, toys, blankets, bed sheets, crockery and shoes etc.

Sometimes elderly people in the house are reluctant to part ways with old possessions. Since money was not spent so freely nor there was such accumulation of personal stuff, they think it is a sacrilege to throw away old blankets or bits of furniture or clothes that were bought decades and decades ago. 

It is however very important to understand and their state of mind. Sometimes, it is not about things but a host of emotions and memories associated with those possessions so these matters should be handled delicately and with empathy.

Having a clutter free home is a habit. Once you enjoy the physical and mental freedom and pride that accompanies a clutter-free living, you will find yourself making the extra effort to ensure that your home remains that way.

Get Things Done

Where does the whole day go? 

Almost every night, I seem to ask myself this question even after being up for almost 15-16 hours and doing something or the other nonstop all day long. Most of the time, I feel that 24 hours in a day are just not enough to pack in all the activities that demand our attention. At the end of the day, I may feel tired physically but mentally I am still stressed out about things that have not been done and are smirking at me from my daily To-Do list.

But after some soul searching and introspection, I realized that there are quite a few habits that waste our time and though we are busy doing something or the other all the time, we are really not getting important things done. Hence the list of daily chores does not seem to diminish and we feel unsatisfied with what we have accomplished during the past 24 hours.

If you feel you are in the same boat, read on to know the reasons and how to fix them.

1) Social media addiction: 

This is the biggest culprit when it comes to time guzzling. With friends and family members spread all over the world, most of us spend a lot of time on Whatsapp, Facebook, Twitter and Instagram checking messages, reading emails, watching videos, laughing at memes and then spending a lot of time answering them. Just the amount of time we spend on social media is bad enough, but what compounds the problem is that every beep and ping makes us check our smart phones, breaking the momentum of the work we are involved in and making it harder to re-start or concentrate. 

If you need to work on a project that demands your full attention, create a specified, uninterrupted time frame where you focus solely on the project at hand. Turn off phones and resist the urge to peek at your Whatsapp after every five minutes. You will be surprised how much more efficiently you can work.

2) Know what needs to be done today: 

Every day I start my day with a to-do- list. This has helped me a lot to focus on things that are necessary and cut the time wasting activities from my life. Right after breakfast; I make a to-do list that comprises of chores, tasks or assignments that need to be tackled. Doctor’s appointment, visit to the bank, parent-teacher meeting, cleaning the fridge or completing an article, making a list helps me to prioritize the activities that need immediate attention. The upside is that a lot more gets done as compared to starting your day in a haphazard way.

3) Unclutter your mind: 

Modern day life is very hectic and there are usually lots of things on our mind. Whether it’s an illness of a near and dear one or children’s grades in school, financial problems or a family feud, it is very hard to focus on work when our brain is occupied with unpleasant or negative thoughts. Though these things are harder to relegate to the back of the mind, you have to train yourself not to let them affect your office work or other areas of your life that demand your full concentration.

4) Be more organized when it comes to shopping: 

Once again making lists can make your life much easier when it comes to shopping, whether you are buying household groceries or clothes, shoes, medicines etc. I even write the names of shops I need to visit for my shopping so that I can plan my route and not waste time going from Point A to Point Z and later remember that I needed to go to Point S in between.

5) Don’t procrastinate: 

Most of us procrastinate when it comes to tackling a long, tedious chore or facing an unpleasant situation. But the more we delay, the bigger a hassle it becomes. Have a disorganized cupboard at home or over cluttered drawers or if your fridge needs a thorough cleaning, tax documents needs to be filled or files are to be organized, allot a day and time for your tasks. Have a firm deadline for getting it done. Remember “Someday” is not a day in any calendar. Also keep in mind the advantages of getting the chore done.

It is a sad reality that many of us do not value time. We waste it doing things that have no positive effect on our life. Instead of watching endless hours of TV entertainment or chatting on social media, this time can be spent on being productive or enhancing our personality by learning new skills. Read a good book, start a fitness goal, enroll yourself in an online class or start a freelance business. Cut out the unnecessary from your daily routines and get things done!

Can We Mind Our Own Business Please!

“Married for three years? Why don’t you have children yet?” 

“You are still single? Why didn’t you marry?” 

“What’s your husband’s salary? “Are you happy with your husband? What time does he get home?” 

“What grades did your children get?” 

Sometimes I feel that we have no concept of what it means to mind our own business. During any family function, various aunties ask the most personal questions without batting an eyelid and to add salt to injury, offer advice, comments and solutions that would put psychologists, paediatricians, gynecologists and marriage counselors to shame. 

Many times, these opinions result from genuine concern and sympathy but there are occasions when women poke their noses into other people’ s affairs out of sheer malice, spite and thirst for gossip. 

One of my dearest friends is a mother to a lovely daughter. For the past 17 years, one question that gets asked of her every time she is in a family gathering is “Do you have only one daughter? Why didn’t you have more children?” 

I wonder what makes people think that they have any right to ask such personal questions? And this is usually followed by “My daughter had four children within 5 years of her marriage. Allah has given her a complete family.’ So having daughters is not equal to having a “family” in their opinion? A mother of two daughters gets to hear, “Oh two daughters. Now you should really try for a son.” As if trying for a son involves some secret recipe that is known only to a blessed few. 

One unmarried friend gets to hear, “You are still single? Why aren’t you married yet?” Married friends get asked, “How do you get along with your mother-in-law? Is she possessive about her son?’ 

One of my friends decided to delay having children after she got married to complete her education. “Everyone would ask me, “Why aren’t you having children? Is there a problem? Have you consulted a doctor?” she recalls with a laugh. “It was so hard to attend social functions as it seemed that I had become the focus of everyone’s attention, in fact almost an obsession just because I was childless for three years.” 

Mothers-in-law get asked, “What time does you bahu get up? How many times a week does she go to her parents’ house? Does she help in household work?” 

As a society, we seem to have a penchant for poking our noses into affairs of everyone around us. We ask the most private and personal questions and are offended if a person tries to maintain his dignity or privacy. We seem to thrive on gossip, with women being its most expert practitioners and ironically its most vulnerable target. 

 “You look tired.” “You seem dark.” “Have you gained weight?” “Didn’t you wear this dress in last week’s party too?” The comments that are made and opinions that are aired are usually aimed to make the other person feel inferior and embarrassed. Isn’t it time we stopped interfering in matters that have absolutely nothing to do with us. 

We never realize how much we can hurt people with our seemingly innocent remarks and questions. We never know how much a childless couple is hurting and maybe they don’t need to know that other people are discussing them. Maybe they are not ready for children or there’s a medical issue or other problems that they don’t want to disclose. 

Perhaps an unmarried girl has taken responsibility of her aged parents or younger siblings and has not found a life partner who is willing to share her problems. Unless we are in a position to genuinely help her, maybe we could refrain from making her realize that she is growing older and there are no “rishtas” for old spinsters in our society. She definitely does not need to hear” Umer nikal gaye to rishta nahin milay ga.” 

A whiff of a broken marriage or engagement can send these aunties in a state of tizzy. They can’t rest unless they get to know all the details of how, when why, what and kia huwa and kiya ho ga. And all the details are whispered from one ear to another with lots of “mirch masala” till the story resembles an 800 episode long Indian soap. 

A wise person once said, “To be busy minding other people’s business, is to leave one’s personal business unattended to. While you are too busy minding other people’s business, who is busy minding yours?” Making personal remarks or asking intrusive questions are not healthy for relationships. 

If someone asks you for help, advice or opinion feel free to air your ideas, otherwise it would be better for us to stop interfering into things that are no concerns of ours.

The essence of patriotism

We all love to celebrate August 14 with great enthusiasm, on individual as well as national levels. We decorate our homes, streets and cars with green and white Pakistan flags. All day long, there are television shows celebrating Independence Day, and TV and radio channels air patriotic songs.

Everyone’s on a holiday and there are many cultural activities as well as picnics in the park.

Many daredevils take to the streets on their motorbikes and indulge in dangerous one-wheeling and create a nuisance for everyone. There are splendid fireworks, and feasts and banquets in our favourite restaurants as many eateries offer special Independence Day deals and discounts.

The next day, however, everything is back to normal and the only sign of our patriotic fervour is seen in the thousands of torn and ragged paper flags that are left carelessly on roads and streets.

Do you ever wonder if this is enough to show our gratitude to our forefathers and our cognisance of the fact that we live in a free country that was achieved after immense sacrifices? Waving flags, painting our faces green and white, releasing green and white balloons in the air … these are the activities that have replaced true patriotism.

So the question is, what is true patriotism? Patriotism means to love your country, serve it to the best of your ability, defend its honour and care deeply for its citizens, natural resources and infrastructure and be proud your nationality.

Waving flags, painting our faces green and white, releasing green and white balloons in the air … these are the activities that have replaced true patriotism

With great privileges, come great responsibilities. If we wish to prove ourselves truly patriotic, we will have to move beyond token celebrations and prove that we are indeed proud to citizens of Pakistan.

Minar-e-Pakistan Lahore

Know your history

You might think history is a boring subject taught by strict teachers in school but to be a true patriotic, you must go beyond memorising textbook dates, names and events to appreciate the story of how we became a nation.

History tells us where we came from and where we are today. We also need to find out the great things people have done in the past and events that shaped our destiny.

Badshahi Mosque, Lahore

Understand the present

Our country faces numerous problems on social, economic, political and even cultural levels. Unless we understand the root causes of these issues, we will not be able to tackle them or resolve them.

Do you ever think about the scarcity of clean drinking water, pollution, deforestation, child labour, crime and other evils that plague our beloved county today? While you are too young to fight these problems, knowledge about them will motivate you to change things for the better in future.

Skardu

Educate yourself

Probably the best thing you can do for Pakistan is to focus on your education. Education does not only mean going to school with a heavy bag and preparing for tests and exams. It also entails gaining knowledge about latest research in fields of arts, science and technology.

Instead of wasting time on internet, try to learn new skills. You can easily enrol in free online courses that open up new horizons for you. Value your time, your youth and health, and channel these blessings to improve the state of your country.

Faisal Mosque, Islamabad

 Be a good citizen

Do you think you are too young and too insignificant to change the world around you? Just try these small things and see the change you can bring about. Be polite and considerate to your immediate family, neighbours, the elderly and the handicapped.

Be ready to lend a helping hand to anyone who needs help. Be conscientious about saving energy. Teach someone to read and write. You can easily feed a hungry person without starving yourself. Obey traffic rules, make a queue and stop littering.

Satpara Lake

Have a mission

One of the biggest problems our youth faces today is that we lack a mission or a goal in life. We all wait for something to happen or someone to change Pakistan for the better.

Wouldn’t it be better if we are like Easton LaChappelle who made his first robotic hand at the age of 14, using LEGO and fishing wire after meeting a young girl with prosthetic hand?

Or maybe 13-year-old Yash Gupta who started an organisation called Sight Learning which collects used glasses and donates them to children who need them.

Ever heard of Ryan Hreljac who was just six-year-old when he started collecting money for water and sanitation projects in Africa? With the help of few family members, friends and a little dedication, these projects are easy to start and implement. All you need is a goal and the desire to do something for your country.

Other things to do 

Place a small Pakistan flag in your room, especially near your study desk. It will inspire you to work harder and achieve great things.

Learn the national anthem. Although our national anthem is sung in school assemblies every day, many of us cannot recall some words it individually. Know the words of “Pak Sar Zameen”.

Learn patriotic songs. There are some amazing soul-stirring patriotic songs that have been sung by singing maestros such as “Aye Watan, Pyare Watan,” “Hum Zinda Quam Hain”, “Is Parcham Kay Saye Talay Hum Aik Hain”, “Mera Paigham Pakistan”, “Watan ki Mitti”, etc.

Be conscientious about your behaviour, whether you are travelling to another country or are online. Each one of you is an ambassador of Pakistan and your bad attitude, presents a negative image of your country.

Do you know about various cities and towns of Pakistan? How many of them can you actually name or locate on a map? Do you know what they are famous for? Learn about your country and promote its best features through articles, photographs and videos on the internet.

We are all, no doubt, ready to lay down our life for Pakistan but we also need to live for Pakistan, to think and work hard for its development and its progress. When patriotism is sincere and based on true love for the country, it becomes possible for the nation to overcome great problems.

Pakistan zindabad!

First Published in Dawn, Young World, August 13th, 2016

25 Tips for a Great Childhood

You might think it is boring to be a child with endless schoolwork, tests, exams, home chores and every grownup. bossing you around but remember that childhood is a short season. These beautiful, carefree days will pass and how you turn out as an adult depends on the things you learn and experience in your early childhood. 

During your childhood, you will probably form many habits, many of which you will find harder to change later in life. Therefore it is very important that you choose a lifestyle that will help you to become a happy, healthy and responsible adult. 

Let us look at some key areas which affect you physically, emotionally and socially and learn which pitfalls to avoid and which values help you become a better person.

Relationships:

1. Be polite. Good manners help you get along with other children as well as with adults. Remember to say Thank you, Sorry, Please and You’re welcome whenever an occasion arises requiring these magic words. 

2. Be true to your word. Take time to think before you make a promise or a commitment. Don’t make fun of other people nor use foul language. It makes a person look unrefined and inelegant. 

3. Be considerate of others. Your grandparents might be old and may want some peace and quiet while resting in the afternoon. Do not watch TV or listen to music at an ear splitting volume. 

4. Respect each other’s privacy. Try to understand that others might not want to join in your activities because they may want to rest, study or do something else. It is not a reason to throw a tantrum or start a fight.

5. Everyday there are so many things that demand your attention that it becomes very easy to focus on only your own needs and requirements. Express your interest and concern for your parents, grandparents, siblings and friends by asking simple questions such as “How was your day?” Do you need any help?” “Can I do something for you?”

Self Care:

1) Keep yourself clean and tidy all the time. Take baths often especially in summer season, brush your teeth regularly, trim your nails and wear clean clothes. 

2) Be physically active. Whether you play team sports like cricket, tennis or football or exercise by yourself by riding a  bike, swimming or skipping a rope, find an activity that keeps you fit and healthy. 

3) Learn the importance of eating a balanced diet. Eat fresh fruits and vegetables everyday and limit your intake of junk food. Consuming too many salty and fried foods can cause pimples, make you look unhealthy and low in energy.

4) Be sure to get the right amount of sleep at night. While we are sleeping, our body rejuvenates, restores and repairs any wear and tear we might have suffered. It also promotes muscle growth and allows our brain to rest so that we face each new day with a bright smile and a fresh mind. 

5) Sometimes we want to be happy but our hair, skin, teeth and eyes decide to give us a tough time. Weight problems, dandruff, lice, pimples, weak eyesight and misaligned teeth can make us feel very dejected and target for ridicule. 

Remember you are not alone and millions of children go through these problems while they are growing up. Talk to your parents and discuss what can be done. Your family doctor can help you or you can seek help from experts such as a nutritionist, dermatologist, dentist or an optician who have plenty of ways to help you out of your troubles.  

Home and School Activities:

1. Read at least 3-5 books a month. Books open up new worlds of imagination, information and creativity.

2. Choose television programmes wisely. Limit your TV viewing to 1-2 hours daily. 

3. Take pride in your school work and always do your best. Remember that millions of children do not have the opportunity to go to school, read a book or write with a pencil. Be conscientious about school tests, assignments and homework and help your siblings in their school work too.

4. Try new activities at school or after school. Childhood is a great time to explore your talents and acquire new skills and interests. Do not be afraid of doing badly or failing. 

5. Help around the house. Keep your room clean and learn to put away your clothes, shoes, books and other belongings away every night before going to bed. This is a very important habit to cultivate as a cluttered room gives rise to stress and makes you look slovenly. 

Handling Emotions:

1. It is alright to feel negative emotions like fear, anger, stress and sadness but do not use tantrums, tears and threats as a means of getting your way.

2. Learn to stand up for yourself. Confide in your parents if something or someone is troubling you but do not expect your parents to solve all your problems for you. 

3. Learn to share and have a generous heart. It might be tempting to eat the whole chocolate bar but it is definitely better to break it in smaller pieces and share it with your siblings. Share your toys, books and food with your brothers and sisters or donate things that you do not need any longer. 

4. Learn to value money. Try to learn about budgeting and how to save money, or how you can help. Help adults in the house save money by switching off lights and fans 

5. Listen to what others have to say. You need not agree with everything that others around you say or feel but lend an ear to other people’s opinion. Treat them with same courtesy and respect as you would want for yourself.

Danger alert

1. Being adept at using the Internet is an integral part of today’s lifestyle. However it is very important to remember to practice Internet safety at all times. Never give your name, phone number, school name and address to strangers without consulting an adult first. 

2. Do not upload personal photos or information on social websites. Alert your parents if you are getting unsolicited messages from anyone or if there is anything that makes you uncomfortable.

3. Be very careful when interacting with strangers online. Remember that people online do not always tell the truth and might use number of ways to befriend you or win your trust. 

4. If you want to sign up for a website, give fictitious name and information. Similarly, do not buy products online unless you consult an adult first. Never agree to meet someone you have met online on your own.

5. Remember your parents are your best friends. If you have done something naughty, confide in them. Even if they scold you a bit, they will protect you from all sorts of troubles. 

First Published in Dawn, Young World, July 9th, 2016